Since I didn’t have much access to the internet on the plane, I just kept a log of my thoughts and things I would have probably posted to Twitter. Here is how the story would go, stream of consciousness style:
Took train to Shinagawa. Took wrong elevator for the Exit instead of the Transfer. Eff!
The Narita Express wont accept my Pasmo card for payment. JR Railways loses points in my book.
Arrive to airport, check in. Get security check by police at airport because I look suspicious. They (3 of them!) were actually frightened of me until I started speaking 日本語. They let me go… this time.
1 hour into the flight: Ate mini pretzels and realized its been a long time since I ate pretzels. This made me think about one important element of food so many experts and dieticians always seem to forget: happiness/taste. Dr. Dean Edell mentioned something about this in one of his awesome books. I may should expand this in a future article.
1.5 hours in: I wonder why they still have no smoking signs and ashtrays on new planes… and why, sometimes, when you get on a plane it sometimes smells of stale smoke. I heard that if you charter your own flight, you can smoke on it.
Is that true?
2 hours: Skymall cracks me up and made me think how print based companies are still using marketing language and hyped up crap from the 1950s. And what crappy products they’re pawning off! In this age, with resources like Gizmodo and Engadget, hell even Amazon customer reviews put everyone in print based marketing in lots of trouble.
2.5 hours: Its not that airline food is that bad, its just not very good. What would happen if I told them not to serve me because I packed my own? Then proceeded to pull out a full blown first class meal out of my bag…
Or even better bring a portable microwave and use that.
4 hours: I gotta go to the toilet. I have a window seat. Guy next to me is sleeping. Don’t want to wake him up.
4.5 hours: Instead of walking by every 15 minutes and offering Water, the flight attendants should offer bed pans or something.
5 hours: Geez does this guy ever go?! Woke up and now he’s watching a movie. My bladder will explode.
5.5 hours: Will this guy ever move? Maybe he’s dead?
I wish I were.
Still cant sleep. Nor pee.
6 hours: Relief is so relieving. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a toilet bowl fill up that high. I wonder if its humanly possible for one person, in one session, to fill the entire bowl. Gross thought?
6.5 hours: Lady in front of me fell asleep on her window, driving her pillow to fall through the crack between the seats and onto my leg.
How shall I give it back to her without waking her up? I cant just throw it over the chair or place it on her head.
I’ll just shove it through the crack and hope she appreciates my kindness when she wakes up.
7.5 hours: She didn’t appreciate my kindness.
8.5 hours: I guess the flight will be a bit late. Some idiots start whining. How is their time worth more than the safety of the hundreds of passengers on board? I gotta write an article on that.
The rest of the flight stuff was rather uneventful, or the battery died on my phone.
I’m super jet-lagged now. I need sleep. I will catch you tomorrow for the recap/post mortem of Japan.
Good n–zzzzzz…..
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