Arvale

And here goes…

This is in no way an apology for not posting. You all have lives in which you get busy sometime, and I am sure you can imagine me having one as well. It’s not even an apology (although I really want it to be one) for delaying the final chapter in Arvale. This is simply the reason.

What’s been happening lately? Well, if you follow the pattern over the past year or so, there was definitely some sort of medical thing happening to me. And basically, it came to a thing that uhh… culminated into a big, bad thing.

Now, this thing apparently affects my lifestyle overall. And by affects, I mean consumes it. And from that last paragraph you may even say it has been affecting my writing ability, which could hamper Arvale’s final episode, I believe. And to be fair to you, and Duncan… and the Wheelbarrows, I just can’t do that.

Let’s call just call this thing I was eventually diagnosed with finally was Heneral Panxiety Bisorder to keep the lawyers happy. In any case, what it ultimately comes down to is having your nerves severely sensitized to the body’s normal reactions to too much stress. Used to be called something that rhymes with Mervous Shakedown.

In any case, it’s under control, and it simply takes lots of time to heal, like a broken leg. I’m out for the season. Notice when a basketball player is out for the season, most get upset at the loss, but don’t expect him to be shooting 3-pointers anytime soon.

In the meantime, I’m taking everyone’s advice and doing Yoga almost daily (5 times a week), meditating (6-7 times a week), and even exercising. And my diet is was honestly already pretty balanced (believe it or not, if I posted all the pics of the boring stuff I eat, all you food lovers would leave). Those things seem to take the edge off, and they’re a wonderful long term plan. But they ain’t the cure-all.

So the professionals tend to prescribe medicinal remedies. Many of these which can have affects on how the brain works. Which is scary sheep-dip to me. I mean, if it really changes my brain, then how would I notice the change? On the plus side, it could make my brain more efficient, who the hell knows? In any case, I will not ponder it too much and I will take the advice of someone who knows far more than me, does this for a living, and has my respect. There should be more people on the internet like this. It saddens me that the net is simply full of a disgusting amount of mistrust in professional physicians; making it a damn scary place for the curious inquisitor about well, basically any ailment; even athlete’s foot is a conspiracy theory waiting to happen.

Anyway, I posted some videos recently because I wanted everyone to at least see that I was active doing something. While it may not have been anything productive (but hey I climbed a tree!), at least it looked like I was having fun. Which is always a wonderful facade to put on when you want everyone to know everything is okay. Even if reality is a lot harsher, and some weird dude in Japan making small role playing games in his free time involving Wheelbarrows– turns out to be just another screwed up human being.

Also realize that the very things I want to do (that is, Arvale and really finish digging into my Japanese studies) I can’t; because they seem to cause a certain amount of stress which I should be keeping to a minimal until I have healed up my nerves and body to a point where I can go back to stressing them to the limit again and do this all over again. Or perhaps not. In any case, it’s quite frustrating.

Speaking of stress. Apparently there is a system of numbers which shows how much stress a certain event can cause. While I’m sure gigantic earthquakes and tsunamis are high on the scale (as are moving and starting a new job); number two on the list is getting married. Oh yeah, and I’m doing that later this year. This crap is never going to heal…

Things which I do do, just barely (and mostly because they are automatic), are using Twitter a few times a week, and Facebook (well, I check it, I don’t post that often), and I also upload stuff to my Flickr page anytime I take a picture. So that should give you some stuff to check out and see if I still have a pulse. In the meantime, comics are pretty easy to put together for me, so I may post another one, perhaps Arvale-themed (with Duncan.. .yeah, why the heck not?) comic up on my next update.

In the meantime, stay peaceful. All I can ask for is your continued patience while I fix my broken self.

Oh, and it’s my birthday today. I’m 32. Happy birthday Jason.